Holy Family 2023 - Icon of the Domestic Church

 Of the four Evangelists, it is Matthew and Luke who provide the most details surrounding the family of our Blessed Lord.

Matthew’s Gospel begins with Jesus’ family tree going all the way back to Abraham, through King David, and the Kings of Israel, to Joseph, husband of Mary. Matthew, then narrates how the angel appeared to Joseph, and explains God’s plan to him regarding the mysterious pregnancy of his betrothed. Matthew then relates the good news of the Lord’s birth in Bethlehem and how the Holy Family was forced to flee to Egypt to escape the murderous design of King Herod.

St. Luke’s Gospel begins not with the Lord’s family tree, but God’s intervention in the life of Jesus’ extended family. Zechariah, of the priestly class, is visited by an angel who foretells the birth of John the Baptist to Zechariah’s wife Elizabeth. 

Luke then transitions from the Lord’s extended family to the Lord’s conception in the womb of his virgin mother overshadowed by the Holy Spirit in the house Nazareth. Out of concern for her kinswoman Elizabeth, Mary goes in haste out to the hill country—the Lord’s cousin John the Baptist leaps for joy in his mother’s womb. Mary and Joseph then journey to Bethlehem—Joseph’s ancestral home, where the Christ was born. 

So in those first few chapters, Luke portrays Mary and Joseph as a couple steeped in the tradition and religiosity of their people—people of strong faith with strong ties to their extended family. 

Why do Matthew and Luke spend so much time describing Jesus’ family? Why did they consider Jesus’ family important? Why don’t these Gospels just begin with Jesus’ public ministry—with his miracles and teachings? Many non-Catholics, after all, think that we Catholics are strange, or even idolatrous, for focusing so much on the Holy Family. But they are right there in the Gospels for a reason. 

The evangelists devote precious ink to these people because God wants us to know about Jesus’ family. God wants us to consider their faith, their traditions, their virtues, their love for each other. We come to meet and know and understand Jesus by meeting, knowing, and understanding his family. 

Jesus was born to a family of real humans, with real struggles, who found strength and support in their family bonds, just like we do. 

They also grappled to understand the mysterious workings of God in their life. Both Mary and Joseph had to come to grips with God doing unprecedented things in their lives. When they began their betrothal, little did they know that life would not proceed as they had planned. But they trusted God’s plan. They were faithful. They obeyed God’s plan. They surrendered to God’s plan.

And just because they were chosen by God for this unique role in salvation history, they still had to deal with real problems. Mary had to give birth in a filthy stable. But Joseph and Mary did their best despite their circumstances. Scripture does not record them complaining, making excuses, cursing God, berating the poor innkeeper for not having a room for them. Their focus on God’s will, their trust in God providence pierces through the real mess they were in. 

Talk about unideal…next week, on the feast of the epiphany, we’ll hear how Mary and Joseph receive word from the magi that King Herod wants their newborn son dead. And would be going to great lengths to murder him. And what do Mary and Joseph do? They go to the temple and offer thanksgiving to God for the gift of Jesus’ life. They fulfill and major religious obligation before going off to Egypt to keep their son safe.

In the Gospel today we hear how in the temple Mary and Joseph receive a prophecy about even more mysterious happenings yet to come. Simeon foretells how Mary’s heart will be pierced with a sword of sorrow. This child is going to move the heavens and the earth, but there will be sorrow, tremendous sorrow. But they accept even sorrow from God, trusting God, hoping in God’s promises. 

These are people of such tremendous faith, and we really can’t reflect enough upon the example of the holy family. Listen again to the Collect prayer for this Christmas Octave Feast of the Holy Family which calls us to look to them and imitate them—we prayed : “O God, who were pleased to give us the shining example of the Holy Family, graciously grant that we may imitate them in practicing the virtues of family life and the bonds of charity, and so, in the joy of your house, delight one day in eternal rewards.”

What virtues—what virtues of the Holy Family—does your family need to practice this year. Spouses, you should discuss that. What virtue do we need to practice as a family this upcoming year? What behaviors do we need to keep an eye on? How are we being called to be more like Mary, more like Joseph. What do they teach us about growing closer in love towards one another? 

If that’s not the sort of conversation you are used to having as a family, start there. I can guarantee Mary and Joseph and Jesus discussed God’s will, and how God had worked in their family history. You can guarantee that they prayed with one another.

Dear departed Pope Benedict XVI wrote about the importance of Christians families looking to and modeling their family life after the Holy Family. He wrote, “the Holy Family is the icon of the domestic Church, called to pray together. The family is the domestic Church and must be the first school of prayer. It is in the family that children, from the tenderest age, can learn to perceive the meaning of God, also thanks to the teaching and example of their parents: to live in an atmosphere marked by God’s presence.”

What it means that every Christian family is the domestic church means that non-believers should be able to learn what it means to be Christian—what it means to be a member of the Church—by looking at your family life. Look at how they pray together, look at how they forgive one another, look at how they are patient with one another, look at how they pass on the faith to the younger generation and seek together to understand the faith. Oh, THAT’s what it means to be Christian. That’s your vocation, dear families: to be icons of the Church. 

May the Holy Family aid all of our Christian families to live up to their vocation and help us all to be faithful to God amidst all of our trials for the glory of God and the salvation of souls.

Feast of the Holy Family (EF) 2023 - BXVI and the School of the House of Nazareth

 

Happy Feast of the Holy Family. "The house of Nazareth", Pope Benedict wrote, "is a school of prayer where one learns to listen, meditate on and penetrate the profound meaning of the manifestation of the Son of God." And so In light of Pope Emeritus Benedict’s recent passing, let us allow the great Pope Benedict to take us to school. 

He writes, at the school of the Holy Family, we learn that we must develop “spiritual discipline if we wish to follow the teaching of the Gospel and become disciples of Christ”.  Notice, how the holy father connects discipline and discipleship. We cannot have discipleship without discipline. In our prayer lives, that means developing and sticking to a routine, a habit of prayer, no matter how we feel, marking the hours of the day, the household duties, the meals, rising and waking, with prayer, praying perhaps before speaking when a conflict arises, praying in times of great joy—turning as a family, to the holy family for blessings and graces and guidance.

Pope Benedict writes, that we must learn also from the Holy Family’s practice of silence. “Silence”, he says, “is the wonderful and indispensable spiritual atmosphere, in which the Word can be reborn within us! Whereas we are deafened by the noise and discordant voices in the frenetic, turbulent life of our time. O silence of Nazareth! He prays, teach us to be steadfast in good thoughts, attentive to our inner life, ready to hear God’s hidden inspiration clearly and the exhortations of true teachers” 

Our day, like the day of the holy family, should be infused with silence.

It’s in silence, that we like Our Lady are able to cherish and ponder Christ. He writes, “Mary was a peerless model of the contemplation of Christ. The face of the Son belonged to her in a special way because he had been knit together in her womb and had taken a human likeness from her. No one has contemplated Jesus as diligently as Mary. The gaze of her heart was already focused on him at the moment of the Annunciation, when she conceived him through the action of the Holy Spirit; in the following months she gradually became [more deeply] aware of his presence, until, on the day of his birth, her eyes could look with motherly tenderness upon the face of her son as she wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in the manger.

Memories of Jesus, imprinted on her mind and on her heart, marked every instant of Mary’s existence. She lived with her eyes fixed on Christ and cherished his every word. St Luke says: “Mary kept all these things, pondering them in her heart” (as we heard in the Gospel today) and thus describes Mary’s approach to the Mystery of the Incarnation which was to extend throughout her life: keeping these things, pondering on them in her heart. 

St. Joseph too, teaches us. Pope Benedict wrote: Joseph fulfilled every aspect of his paternal role. He must certainly have taught Jesus to pray, together with Mary. In particular Joseph himself must have taken Jesus to the Synagogue for the rites of the Sabbath, as well as to Jerusalem for the great feasts of the people of Israel. Joseph, in accordance with the Jewish tradition, would have led the prayers at home both every day — in the morning, in the evening, at meals — and on the principal religious feasts. In the rhythm of the days he spent at Nazareth, in the simple home and in Joseph’s workshop, Jesus learned to alternate prayer and work, as well as to offer God his labour in earning the bread the family needed.

Pope Benedict draws several lessons in particular from today’s Gospel. He writes, “Jewish families, like Christian families, pray in the intimacy of the home but they also pray together with the community, recognizing that they belong to the People of God, journeying on; and the pilgrimage expresses exactly this state of the People of God on the move (journeying to God together).” So vibrant personal prayer lives, contemplating the face of Christ, cherishing christ in our hearts like our Lady, is important. Ordering our family life, our professional life in a godly way, and infusing them with prayer, like St. Joseph is indispensable. But also the Holy Family models communal prayer. Our corporate worship together as the family of God, the Church, is so powerful and essential to who we are. We join together in prayer at holy Mass, a foretaste of the saint’s communal worship of God in heaven. 

But then, the Holy Father draws our attention to the words of Jesus in the Gospel. They are first words of Our Lord recorded in the Gospels, and Benedict writes, After three days spent looking for him his parents found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions (cf. 2:46). His answer to the question of why he had done this to mary and joseph was that he had only done what the Son should do, that is, to be with his Father. “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”

Benedict says, “note the resonance that hearing this word “Father” on Jesus’ lips must have had in the hearts of Mary and Joseph…We may imagine that from this time the life of the Holy Family must have been even fuller of prayer since from the heart of Jesus the boy — then an adolescent and a young man — this deep meaning of the relationship with God the Father would not cease to spread and to be echoed in the hearts of Mary and Joseph…The Family of Nazareth became the first model of the Church in which, around the presence of Jesus and through his mediation, everyone experiences the filial relationship with God the Father which also transforms interpersonal, human relationships.”

The dear departed Pope Benedict knew the important of Christians families looking to and modeling their family life after the Holy Family. He wrote, “the Holy Family is the icon of the domestic Church, called to pray together. The family is the domestic Church and must be the first school of prayer. It is in the family that children, from the tenderest age, can learn to perceive the meaning of God, also thanks to the teaching and example of their parents: to live in an atmosphere marked by God’s presence.”

May the Holy Family guide and protect us always, and may the soul of God’s servant, Pope Benedict XVI, through the mercy of God rest in peace, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

 

A reading from the epistle of St. Paul to the Colossians

Brethren: Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another,  if one has a grievance against another;  as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

A continuation of the Holy Gospel according to St. Luke

Each year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple,  sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.

Holy Family 2020 - What makes a family holy

 

A few years ago, on the Feast of the Holy Family, Pope Francis asked the world a simple question: “What makes a family holy?”

The Pope mentioned how holy families keep the faith amidst challenges and spread the faith to other families by setting good Christian example. And members of holy families support each other through challenges and are patient with each other. But at the top of his list, Pope Francis explains what makes holy families holy, is that they pray. And Pope Francis said,”.…I would like to ask you, dear families do you pray together from time to time as a family? Praying the Our Father together, around the table, is not something extraordinarily difficult: it’s easy. And praying the Rosary together, as a family, is very beautiful and a source of great strength!  And also praying for one another! The husband for his wife, the wife for her husband, both together for their children, the children for their grandparents….praying for each other.  This is what it means to pray in the family and it is what makes the family strong: prayer.”

There can be no real holiness, either for oneself or ones family, without prayer. And the peace, and healing, and blessing, and guidance for family members who seem to be making one bad decision after another, patience with one another, and respect for one another, these things will only be obtained when they are prayed for, regularly.

Often in the confessional, when someone confesses that they are losing their temper with a particular family member, I recommend adding special prayers at the very beginning of the day, before you begin to interact with them. To pray honestly to God, “Lord, help me.  I’ve been arguing with my spouse a lot, we’ve been getting on each other’s nerves, we don’t seem to be listening to each other, we don’t seem to be understanding each other, as we should. Lord help me. Help us.  Lord give me patience to love my spouse as I should, to listen as I should, to understand as I should, to serve as I should. Lord help me. And help my spouse and I to build a holy family, to emulate the Holy Family and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph”

When family members commit to praying for each other—praying for the grace to love each other as they should and loving God as they should, that’s a huge step in the right direction, and a huge step in opening the life of the family to the grace and peace God wishes to give you. 

In the Collect for this feast of the Holy Family, we asked God to graciously grant us the ability to imitate the Holy family in practicing the virtues of family life. And constant, regular, devout prayer for each other is one of those virtues of family life that we need to take seriously. 

For Prayer enables us to love as we should—to love God, to love neighbor, to love our family, and to love our enemy, as we are called to as followers of Christ. As prayer diminishes, love will soon follow. Why? Because prayer opens the soul to receive the help we need from God. Prayer acknowledges that I cannot love as I should by my own power. 

Notice, in the Gospel for this feast day, we see Mary and Joseph going to God to bless their family. Mary and Joseph go to the Temple to offer the prescribed prayers and sacrifices to thank God for the safe delivery of their child, to ask God to bless their child and their family, asking God to help them to be good parents, to consecrate their child to God’s purposes. There’s a powerful petition parents do well to offer to God daily: Lord help my children to be consecrated to your purpose. That’s a prayer that should begin when the child is still in the womb: a mother’s prayer: “God, I consecrate this baby to your Holy Will”.

Notice, too, that it was in the Temple, as Mary and Joseph were being faithful to the prescribed religious precepts, that God’s will was made known to them for their child. Similarly, for all families it is always in the context of the devout practice of our faith that God’s will is made known. As families practice the precepts of the faith, together, they are bound more closely in the bonds of love. But, as families fall away from the devout practice of the faith, their fractures begin to intensify—they turn away from God’s will, and begin to focus on what they think will make them happy and whole. But, the human recipe for wholeness, divorced from God, will always bring frustration, exhaustion, and unhappiness.

The family that prays together stays together. So, prays together in the home: before meals, before bed, maybe praying the angelus together at noon and six. Also, Pray for one another individually, privately, particularly at the beginning of the day. And pray together in church. I know husbands and wives who make a holy hour together every week, and can attest to the powerful blessings that flow from that hour kneeling in front of the blessed Sacrament together for their family. 

Families, too, that come up to church for confession together, unleash the power of the Lord’s mercy in their families. 

Speaking of confession. I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows that I resumed offering confessions in the church months ago. It’s been kind of lonely in their on Saturday afternoons and Sundays between masses. I also added confessions on Monday evenings at 4:45 prior to the 5:30pm Monday Latin Mass. I go to confession at least once a month. I strongly recommend monthly confession to every Catholic. Again, what makes a family holy? A family who prays. And that act of confession, where members humbly approach the sacrament to acknowledge their failures to love each other as they should and to practice those virtues of family life as they should, is so powerful. You are going to see a lot of growth in holiness and peace in that family who confesses often, versus the family that can’t or won’t admit its mistakes to God.

In his reflections, Pope Francis summarized what makes a family holy, when he said,  “The family of Nazareth is holy: because it was centered on Jesus.” Prayer, the precepts of our faith, the humble acknowledgment of sin, and striving for virtue help us to remain centered on Jesus and enable us to grow in the holiness God wants for each of us. May all of the families of our parish and in our neighborhood grow in holiness by the same means, and may all members of the human family become united to God the Father through His Son for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

Holy Family 2019 - Families centered on Jesus

I recently came across an article from the Telegraph, a british periodical, which reported on a study of what 2000 children put on their wish-list for Christmas.  A “pet horse” was the third most popular choice.  Many children asked for ipads and ipods.  Some quirky kids asked for a “time machine”, “a donkey”, “an elephant”, or a “real live reindeer”.

Yet, atop this list of toys and treats, at the number one spot, was…can you guess? It was the request for a new baby brother or sister.  The days of large families have come to an end, especially in Europe, whose population is in decline because the birth rate is so low.  Our nation, as well, has tipped into negative population growth for a number of reasons including the breakdown of marriages, divorce, gross materialism, and the explosion in use of artificial contraception. Families are having less children, in fact, we are even seeing a decline in families in general—less marriages means less children.

And so this request for a new baby brother or sister is very telling—children are yearning, not for toys and electronics, but for real human experience, real family experiences. 

Another item on this Christmas wish list is also very telling.  In the number 10 spot, children asked..again not for electronic devices or material possessions, but for a dad.  ‘A Dad’—‘a father’—is not something children should not have to put on their Christmas list.  Children know that ‘a dad’ should not be missing from their life.

This is not to say that single-parents are not courageous and trying their hardest to provide for a healthy, loving, holy upbringing for their children.  But as Catholics we acknowledge the Creator’s design for the family as being very important for the emotional and psychological and spiritual health of children.

Statistics show many of the consequences of fatherless households.  Boys whose parents are divorced or never married are two to three times more likely to end up in jail as adults. Children whose parents get and stay married are healthier and also much less likely to suffer mental illness, including depression and teen suicide.

Many of us today may have more formal education, money and opportunities than our ancestors.  Yet family life and marriage is also crumbling like never before.  The fact that a sibling and a dad ranked so high on these Christmas wish-lists is very disturbing.  But it is also a sign of hope.  These children who long for a father, who long for a healthy family, seem to know that families should be healthier than they are, and we hope they will commit to starting and maintaining holy families when their time comes…which makes today’s feast so important, we turn our attention to what makes a Holy Family?

The Feast of the Holy Family is a relatively new feast to the liturgical calendar, it was added after Vatican II. Already in the 1960s the Council fathers detected the breakdown of families. They sought to the brace the Church for the upcoming cultural revolutions which would have even greater devastating effects, and to turn our attention to what will sustain us, guide us, and inspire us.

The Holy Family of Joseph, Mary, and Joseph is the story of a family who trusts in God amidst quite difficult circumstances: a teenage mother conceiving a child before the wedding, a foster father grappling with God’s plan, even considering ending his betrothal, a poor couple forced to flee their homeland to a foreign soil because of a hostile government threatened their child. They lived as immigrants in the land that once held their ancestors as slaves.

But, despite their challenges, this family practiced absolute fidelity to God. The Holy Family stands beside all who worry, who struggle, who search, who pray.  For they gave themselves fully to God, and made their family life a prayer and sacrifice for God.

The disintegration of the family I spoke about earlier is no doubt proportional to culture’s growing disregard for God and God’s plans. Unlike Mary and Joseph in the Gospel today who search desperately for the Lord when he became lost, searching for Jesus, making God the center of their lives, is often the last concern for modern families.

Last year, on the Feast of the Holy Family, Pope Francis commented on the need to follow Mary and Joseph’s example of searching for Jesus, he said, “That anguish [Mary and Joseph] felt in the three days of the loss of Jesus should also be our anguish when we are far from Him, when we are far from Jesus. We should feel anguish when we forget about Jesus for more than three days, without praying, without reading the Gospel, without feeling the need for his presence and his consoling friendship,” he said.

“Mary and Joseph looked for him and found him in the temple while he was teaching: for us too,  it is above all in the house of God that we can meet the divine Master and welcome his message of salvation.” The Holy Father speaks about the importance of praying together and worshiping together as a family, particularly in the house of God, at Sunday Mass. Families that pray together stay together.  Families, too, who are involved in some sort of volunteer work together, radiate with the light of God. But that key word is “together”. Praying together, worshiping together, serving together.

Separate televisions in separate rooms, separate meals at separate times, separate this and separate that, can perpetuate real and unhealthy spiritual and familial separateness if we are not vigilant. So, families need to nurture togetherness, spiritual and religious togetherness especially in a culture that is driving families apart. And really, all of us, single, married, celibate, widowed, grandparents and godparents need to be at the service of families, helping them to be holy and whole.

Today the Church calls our attention to not three separate people, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, but a unity of persons, bound together by their love for each other and God. By imitating the love and virtues of the Holy Family may all of the woundedness and divisions in our own families be healed, as we like them, seek to place Jesus at the center of everything we do and everything we are.

Pope Francis said, “The family of Nazareth is holy: because it was centered on Jesus.” May all of the families of our parish and in our neighborhood grow in holiness by the same means, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

March 19 2019 - Solemnity of St. Joseph - The righteous man

Today, we celebrate the feast of the great St. Joseph. And throughout the Church’s history, Joseph has accumulate many titles and nicknames. Sometimes he is called “the Guardian of the Holy Family” because of his role in protecting Mary and Joseph. Sometimes is he called the “Terror of Demons” because he did not fall to the temptations of the demons throughout his life and helps us to remain faithful to God and protected from evil, too.

And quite often, Joseph is simply known as a righteous man. A righteous man is someone who seek to understand what is right and to do what is right—always. Sometimes this isn’t always our concern is it?

WEEKDAY MASS:[Is it right to gossip? Is it right to skip the prayers we know we should be saying? Is it right to skip our household duties? Is it right to watch so much television? Is it right to be so undisciplined about our diet?]

SCHOOL MASS:[Is it right to fight with your siblings? Is it right to talk back to and disobey your parents? Is it right to be disruptive in school? Is it right to skip church on Sundays? Is it right to speak cruelly about your peers?]

No. So why do we do these things? Partly, because we aren’t always seeking to do what is right. It’s not a priority. We haven’t made the life decision: I will only do what is right. Some of us make the decision partially, but we aren’t truly committed because we then add a little caveat: “well, I’ll decide what is right when the time comes.” But as Christians, we don’t make up what is right or wrong: we follow the teachings of Jesus and the Church.

But even when we choose to fully embrace the truth that comes from God, to do what is right, always, is still hard. Partially, because of our own weakness. We’ll do what is right, as long as it is not too hard. And doing what is right always is difficult because we have so many bad examples of unrighteousness around us. And we set bad example for each other.

In movies, television, and video games, we see people treating each other horribly. We see athletes who make a bunch of money, but act foolishly. We see actors and actresses who are famous but who live as if God did not exist. We see politicians with foul mouths, greedy hearts, and corrupt morals. Sometimes even are parents don’t set the best examples for us.

That is why it is so important to get to know people like St. Joseph. Just men. Righteous men. Who put God’s will first. You want to see what it looks like to be a good person, go to joseph. You want to see what it looks like to be a good father, a good parent. Go Joseph. You want to see what it looks like to be successful in the eyes of God? Go to Joseph. You want to see someone who listens to the words, and impulses of God, look to Joseph. You want to see someone who is truly just, truly wise, truly generous, truly virtuous, truly chaste, truly prudent, truly knowledgeable, truly loving. Go to Joseph.

Go to Joseph every day. Look to his example. Ask for his prayers for you and your family, especially for all fathers and husbands. Ask him to help you to be righteous always. To look to the truth of Jesus, always. To commit to following that truth no matter now difficult it is. To live always for the glory of God and salvation of souls.
 
That St. Joseph, “Patron of the Universal Church” may guide and guard our Holy Father, all bishops and clergy, religious and lay faithful from the wiles and machinations of the Enemy.
That St. Joseph, “diligent protector” of the Christ Child, will help protect all children from violence and evil, especially the unborn.
That St. Joseph, “Guardian of Virgins” will help eradicate perversion and immodesty from our culture.
That St. Joseph, “Pillar of Families”, will be an example for all Christian families.
That St. Joseph “terror of demons” will help to deliver all those in sin, and all those under demonic influence, to be open to the saving mercy of Christ.
That St. Joseph “patron of the dying” will help all the dying to know the tender peace of God.
For all who have died, and for all the poor souls in purgatory, and for X. for whom this Mass is offered.
Mercifully hear, O Lord, the prayers of your Church and turn with compassion to the hearts that bow before you, that those you make sharers in your divine mystery may always benefit from your assistance.

Holy family 2018 - 3 Holy Family Lessons

The Solemnity of Holy Family gives us the opportunity to reflect on God’s plan for the family.  We could spend time today considering advice about making your family psychologically healthier, more functional, happier, etc.  In fact, our first reading from the book of Sirach gives a fair amount of advice on this topic: “he who obeys his father brings comfort to his mother; take care of your father when he is old even if his mind fails, be considerate of him.” Sirach is filled with such good practical bits of advice, and all of us would do very well to sit down with this wonderful book and consider how its advice could be applied to the concrete details of our life. 

St. Paul, too, in the second reading, gives some wonderful advice: Put on, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another.” Again, good advice for families, especially that last part.  Sometimes family members are the hardest to love; we come face to face with each other’s faults and vices; but when we fail to forgive one another and be patient with one another, our families fall apart.

These readings offer, sound advice; if you are a Christian or not, a member of Christ’s faithful or a person of no faith, you would be hard-up to disagree with any of that advice. 

But today, on this Holy Family Sunday, we need to go a little deeper than psychological advice. We need to consider what it means for the family to be holy, to be a place where family members can grow in sanctity.  So let’s look to the Gospel to the members of the Holy Family to learn how our families may become holy like theirs.

First, it’s easy to forget, that the Holy Family of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus, was a real family. We have all seen paintings and holy cards that depict them in a super-pious, unrealistic way. But they were real human beings, just like us, and they lived in the real world, the fallen world, just like us. The fact that Mary and Jesus were unaffected by original sin and that Joseph was a saint doesn't change the reality of their family life and their struggles.

In today's Gospel, we hear how Mary and Joseph were filled with “great anxiety”—they were worried sick—over the loss of Jesus.   We have all experienced “great anxiety” in relation to our families and relationships.  So being holy doesn’t mean we don’t have anxiety, challenges, struggles, or trials. 

Here’s the first lesson we can learn from the Holy family—HOW they endured their anxiety.  Mary and Joseph were filled with anxiety over the losing Jesus, but they did not lose faith or curse God.  Notice how Mary and Joseph don’t stand around blaming each other for losing Jesus.  They endured the anxiety together, and they went to look for the Christ, together. 

Husbands and wives, families, the lesson is clear isn’t it: in times of anxiety, fear, anger, uncertainty, sadness, frustration, helplessness, stick together and don’t lose faith.

In a way, God used their anxiety over losing Jesus for three days in Jerusalem in order to prepare them for a bigger trial.  About 20 years after this incident, Mary would have to undergo a greater trial of faith, she would have to witness her Son undergoing his Passion and Death. 
So again, A mark of holiness is the ability to undergo suffering with faith.  God allows sufferings to cross our paths, not because he likes torturing us, but because he wants to purify us, to help us grow in wisdom, to strengthen us for greater trials to come, to draw us closer and closer to his own suffering heart. A priest friend of mine often says, “everything prepares us for something else.” The suffering of yesterday and the suffering of today prepares us for the greater inevitable suffering of tomorrow. 
A second lesson. Notice, how Jesus responded to Mary.  He doesn't apologize for having gone off on his own without telling them. Instead, he simply says that they should have known that they could find him in the Temple, which he calls "his Father's house."
Jesus was not guilty of breaking the Fourth Commandment to honor your father and mother by going to His Father’s House.  Jesus was twelve-years-old, the age of adulthood in the Jewish Community.  And he made a choice to seek out His Heavenly Father’s House to attend to his heavenly Father’s business.
The second mark of holiness Jesus shows us is that our primary responsibility in life, our primary mission, is to find and follow God's call. Nothing, not even the strong, deep ties of family affection and loyalty, should interfere with doing God’s will. We sometimes experience a tug-of-war for our loyalty—God or family, God or country, God or place of employment.  Our primary loyalty is to God.

Prioritizing faith over worldly concerns is rarely easy. During the holidays, we know how easy it is to become overly concerned with the secular dimensions of Christmas, and the struggle of keeping Christ at the center of our celebrations. And throughout the year, there is the struggle of putting faith first. Sometimes the kids or one’s spouse aren’t always enthusiastic about coming to Mass or praying together throughout the week.  Sometimes one’s spouse might pressure you to disobey Church teaching concerning the use of artificial contraception.  But remaining faithful to our Heavenly Father is of the greatest importance.  In a sense, we are each members of two families, aren’t we? Born as children to biological families and born in baptism as children of God.  I know this is hard, but our greatest loyalty is to God. 

I’ve known several priests whose parents kicked them out of the house for entering seminary. Recall the story of St. Francis of Assis.  His father wished him to take over the family business.  Francis’ father publically disowned his son for turning away from the family business in order to follow God’s call. Sometimes children face tremendous pressure from parents wanting their children to be successful in the eyes of the world instead of the eyes of God.  But, Christian parents have as their vocation not just ensuring their children become psychologically well-adjusted, athletically competitive, or financially successful, but that their children know and follow Jesus Christ.

Finally, after discovering Jesus in the temple, St. Luke tells us that Mary “kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” She examined the events of her life, the trials of her family, her experience of anxiety, her fervent searching for Christ, and pondered them in her heart.

Here a third mark of holiness: Meditating on God’s will, examining our life in the light of Scripture and the teachings of the Church.  Even the pagan philosopher Socrates knew that the unexamined life is not worth living.  We like Mary are to examine how God is working in our life.

Every day, we do well, to set aside time for this sort of prayerful reflection.  Without this sort of reflection and meditation we will never achieve the emotional or spiritual growth God wants for us. Without prayerful reflection we miss the life lessons God wants for us, and we fail to appreciate and give thanks for the blessings of God and seek forgiveness for our failings. You might consider in the new year to begin a spiritual journal, in which you reflect on your life in light of the Scriptures or the life of the saints. A family does well too, to discuss scripture throughout the week.

On this Holy Family Sunday let us commit to making our families holy by assisting each other in discerning and following God’s will for our lives, in bearing our anxieties, trials, and sufferings with faith, and encouraging each other in engaging in those life-giving practices of mind and soul for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

Holy Family 2017 - The IGeneration and Faith

A few months ago, a professor of Psychology from the University of San Diego, put out a very insightful book titled: “iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood--and What That Means for the Rest of Us.”

The book is a study of the generation of young people. The author calls them the IGeneration, as they are the first generation that has never known a world without iphones and ipads. The author notes some trends amongst IGen’ers born between 1995 and 2012.

For example, whereas previous generations were eager to get out of the house and find their own way in the world, iGen’ers seem to be slow to move out the house.

I remember when I was growing up, I couldn’t wait to get my driver’s license. It meant getting out of the house, exploring the world. On average IGen’ers are much more reluctant to leave the comfort and safety of the parental home, with free wi-fi and free food. They’d rather stay at home and play video games and text their friends, than going out for social interactions.  Sadly, the author of the book shows, one of the consequences of this screen-induced introversion is a lack of social skills and another is depression. IGen’ers describe themselves as unhappier than previous generations.

The book’s chapter on religious attitudes causes us some concern. It’s not a secret that since the 1960s there’s been a growing negative attitude toward organized religion: many baby boomers and gen-x’ers describe themselves as “spiritual, but not religious.” But, as recently as the 1980s, 90 percent of high school seniors identified with some religious group. But now in 2017, only a third of 18-24 year-olds claim to believe in God, at all. Less than that pray on a regular basis, and less than that attend Church services.

What happened in the course of 20 years? Well, screen time has certainly replaced prayer time. And it’s also replaced family time. And this has been detrimental to religious faith. Vatican II described the family as a domestic Church. In other words, the family is where the basics of Christianity are learned and lived out. And when those family religious practices are replaced by sports, entertainment, not to mention the secular propaganda found in nearly every pop song, video and movie, the virtue of religion is never developed.

I am in such awe of so many of our parish families, who make the sacrifices to come to Church every week, who are providing Catholic education for their children, who seek to make Christ the center of their family life despite all the competing activities out in the world. It takes much more effort than in generations past; the culture today simply does not support religious practice—and our young parents deserve much credit for their energy and sacrifices.

Today’s Solemnity of the Holy Family, within the Christmas octave, reminds us that family is to be a bedrock of faith. And our Scripture readings today speak of God’s plan for families.

Sirach for example describes a sort of family ideal: a father and mother set in honor and authority over their children, children revering and praying for their parents, obeying them and caring for them when they grow old.  The biblical ideal is not meant to be discarded simply because it is difficult. It is the timeless word of God. Most families are works in progress, and that is okay. But each family member needs to take personal responsibility for the good of the family, to living up to the ideal set by God.

We all know of truly tragic and heart-breaking family situations – divorce, children lost to drugs, squabbles over inheritances, misunderstandings, even betrayals – but even in those situations, God’s word speaks: “Put on, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another”
A few years ago Pope Francis suggested some practices to ensure peace in the family: he encouraged the use of three phrases, hopefully you’ve heard and used them before: please, thank you, and I’m sorry.

The word “please” helps us to develop a respect for the time and effort of others. The phrase “thank you” helps us to appreciate the dignity of others, who give of their time and treasure for our good.  And the phrase “I’m sorry” helps us to mend the brokenness caused by selfishness.

These three phrases: “please, thank you, and I’m sorry” help us to develop the humility needed for the Christian life. For when we are able to say please, thank you, and I’m sorry to each other, we learn the importance of saying, please, thank you, and I’m sorry to God.

In the Gospel for this Holy Family Sunday, we hear that after the birth of the Christ Child and after he was presented to God in the Temple, the Holy Family returned to their home town of Nazareth, the Christ child “grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him.”

How can your family grow and becoming stronger, become filled with God’s wisdom and favor?

The family that prays together stays together. Time should be set aside every week, perhaps Sunday nights, to put down the screens and turn off the televisions and to gather as a family, to sit down with the Sunday scripture readings again, to perhaps pray a family rosary together, and to pray for one another. You’ll never regret time spent in family prayer, praying with your spouse and your children, but, most of us regret spending so much time with the IDevices. For those IDevices so often lead us to focus inordinately on “I” and not “Us.” You really might also want to consider a family rule of not bringing the idevices or even televisions into the bedrooms, as they are known to distract us from the rest we should be getting.

On this Holy Family Sunday let us commit to making our families places where the Christian faith grows and becomes strong, where the favor of God comes to rest upon us, as we make Christ the center of our family life, through prayer, charity, and bearing our trials, anxieties, and hardships trusting in God’s grace, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

Homily: Holy Family 2016 - Four tasks for holier families

The Second Vatican Council was prophetic in many ways.  The Council fathers saw the growing materialism, the breaking down of families, increased number of divorce, and they sought to brace the Church for the upcoming cultural revolutions.  The Feast of the Holy Family was a direct result of Vatican II, it was added to the liturgical Calendar that we might celebrate the dignity of the family and that our savior was born as a member of a family. 

It is typically celebrated the Sunday after Christmas, but when a Sunday does not occur between December 25 and January 1, the feast is celebrated on December 30.

Saint John Paul II, who was present as a bishop at the Second Vatican Council never tired of reminding the Church that the future of humanity depends on marriage and the family.

Saint John Paul wrote a wonderful document on the family called Familiaris Consortio. He wrote:

At a moment of history in which the family is the object of numerous forces that seek to destroy it or in some way to deform it… the Church perceives in a more urgent and compelling way her mission of proclaiming to all people the plan of God for marriage and the family.

And within this document, he gave four tasks for the family, so that families may become what God made them to be.

One, the persons of the family must always seek to grow in communion with one another. Husbands and wives, parents and children must seek to deepen the bonds of love that join them.

Two, Saint John Paul called upon families to be at the service of life. He encouraged spouses to be generous in bringing new life into the world, as well as being diligent in raising those children in the faith.

Three, he called upon families to contribute to society. Families should foster deep bonds of communion with other families, and work to ensure the protection of families through political means.

Finally, he called upon families to share in the life and mission of the Church. Families should come together for the Sacraments of course, but also joining together for prayer, scripture study, faith study, charitable works and evangelization.

Perhaps in these four tasks there is an examination of conscience for each of us: how to I build, strengthen and heal the bonds of love within my family? How do I help my family serve life? What can my family do to strengthen communion with other neighborhood families? and how can my family better share in the life and mission of the Church?

May our families be inspired by the example of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the Holy Family. As Saint John Paul said, “and may it be they who open your hearts to the light that the Gospel sheds on every family” for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

That the many ministries of the Church may strengthen family life throughout the world,

we pray to the Lord...

That governments may protect the institution of marriage, made by God as the union

between one man and one woman, we pray to the Lord...

That the family may become ever more the sanctuary of life, where all are welcomed as a

gift rather than a burden, we pray to the Lord...

That families burdened by divorce, abuse, or alienation may seek and find the help of the

Holy Family, we pray to the Lord...

That our family members who are ill may enjoy the consolation of the Lord and the

presence of their loved ones, we pray to the Lord...

That our family members who have died may be welcomed into eternal life…and for X. for whom this Mass is offered,  we pray to the Lord...

Homily: Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

Last week, the Telegraph, a british periodical, reported on a study of what 2000 children put on their wish-list for Christmas.  A “pet horse” was the third most popular choice.  Many children asked for ipads and ipods.  Some quirky kids asked for a “time machine”, “a donkey”, “an elephant”, a “real live reindeer” or “Harry Styles from One Direction”.  I neither know who Harry Styles is or what One Direction is, nor do I want to, but our young people probably do.

Yet, atop this list of toys and treats, at the number one spot, was…can you guess? The request for a new baby brother or sister.  For the days of large families have come to an end, especially in Europe, whose population is in decline because the birth rate is so low.  Our nation, as well, has tipped, into negative population growth for a number of reasons including the breakdown of marriages, divorce, gross materialism, and the explosion in use of artificial contraception. Families are having less children, in fact, we are even seeing a decline in families in general—less marriages, more cohabitation, less children.

And so this request for a new baby brother or sister is very telling—children are yearning, not for the toys and electronics, but for real human experience, real family experience.  Blessed Pope John Paul II, seeing this plague of childlessness growing said, “The greatest gift you can give your child is another sibling.”  He knew what he was saying.  He knew the implications, what this meant for mothers and fathers, and the sacrifices that go along with it.  And he encouraged married people to be generous in their cooperation with the Creator in bringing new life into the world.

Yet, another item on this Christmas wish list is very telling.  In the number 10 spot, children asked, for a dad.  ‘A Dad’—‘a father’—is not something children should not have to put on their Christmas list.  That should be a given.  This children know that ‘a dad’ should not be missing from their life. 

This is not to say that single-parents are not courageous and trying their hardest to provide for a healthy, loving, holy upbringing for their children.  But as Catholics we acknowledge the Creator’s design for the family as being very important for the emotional and psychological and spiritual health of children. 

Statistics show many of the consequences of fatherless households.  Boys whose parents are divorced or never married are two to three times more likely to end up in jail as adults. Children whose parents get and stay married are healthier and also much less likely to suffer mental illness, including depression and teen suicide.

Many of us today may have more formal education, money and opportunities than our ancestors.  Yet family life and marriage is also crumbling like never before.  The fact that a sibling and a dad ranked so high on these Christmas wish-lists is very disturbing.  But it is also a sign of hope.  These children who long for a father, who long for a healthy family, seem to know that happiness is not found in more stuff and more money, and that families should be healthier than they are.

The Second Vatican Council was prophetic in many ways.  The Council fathers saw the growing materialism, the breaking down of families, the braced the Church for the upcoming cultural revolutions.  The Feast of the Holy Family was a direct result of Vatican II, it was added to the liturgical Calendar that we might celebrate the dignity of the family and that our savior was born as a member of a family. 

The Feast of the Holy Family was added to the Liturgical Calendar to be celebrated the first Sunday after Christmas, at a time when I think most of us – after the parties and cooking and visiting and obligations and expectations and disappointments — have started to have about as much “family” as we can take—perhaps during the Christmas celebrations we confront the brokenness of many of our families.

But, when we speak of the Holy Family, we speak of a family that struggled and suffered, like so many of us.

The story of the Holy Family is the story of life not always turning out the way you expected.  It’s the story of a teenage mother, conceiving a child before the wedding.  It’s the story of an anxious foster father, planning on divorce. It’s the story of a family forced to flee to a foreign land because of a hostile government and become refugees, living as immigrants in the land that once held their ancestors as slaves.  As we heard in today’s gospel, it’s the story of a boy who disappeared, and days of anxious searching by his parents.

But, this family also knew profound hope and trusted completely in God, and they call all of us to that kind of trust, when we are facing the many trials of our lives.  They stand beside all who worry, who struggle, who search, who pray.  For they gave themselves fully to God, and made their family life a prayer and sacrifice to Him and for His glory.

How do we obtain their level of trust, their level of faith, their level of love for each other?  Statistics continue to show the importance of family prayer for the happiness of families.  Moms and Dads who take the time to pray with one another and with their children have a huge impact.  The importance of Sunday worship is undeniable.  Families that pray together stay together.  And families who are involved in some sort of volunteer work together.  But the key word is together. 

Separate televisions in separate rooms, separate meals at separate times, separate this and separate that, are disastrous.  Families need to nurture togetherness, especially in a culture that is driving families apart. 

Today the Church calls our attention to not simply the importance of family life, but the necessity that our families be holy. But, the definition of holiness and the definition of the family are not something that we have to invent.  In fact, we get in trouble when reinvent what God has already defined.  The definition of the family and the definition of marriage are meant to be received from God.  Happiness and holiness are found in family life not when the family is divorced from God, rather when it is immersed in the sacramental community of the Church.

May all families be generous in following the commandments of God, generous in their love towards each other, and generous in their charity towards all, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.