A number of years ago, a television show premiered on the
Arts & Entertainment network called “Intervention”. I haven’t watched it in
years, but I guess the show is in its 25th season. The show follows one or two participants who
are abusing or severely addicted to drugs or alcohol. Relatives and friends of
the addict are interviewed, who detail the effects the addiction has had on the
family—the sadness, the grief, the lies that often accompany addiction. And
they share their concern for the harm the addict is doing to themselves and the
family.
A trained intervention specialist then prepares the family
for staging an intervention, in which the family and friends gently confront
the addict about their addiction. At the intervention, the addict is given a
choice: enter a rehabilitation program or risk losing contact and financial
assistance from their relatives. From what I’ve read, the show has had
tremendous success in getting help for addicts and their families.
I’ve had some personal experience with intervention: In
seminary, I volunteered at a drug and alcohol treatment facility for teenagers,
and I would participate in group family counseling sessions, in which parents
and relatives would gather, in a very gentle setting. And they would share with
their teenager how the addiction has brought harm to the them and the family
life.
Most priests are not trained intervention specialists or
drug counselors, but for families facing these issues, the Church can help
connect your family with those with this expertise. Please call me if I can be of
any assistance in this matter.
This method of loving confrontation is biblical. As we heard
today, If your brother falls into sin, try to help them, confront them. If they
don’t listen to you, bring another with you. A family effort is often needed in
helping someone who has fallen into sin, addiction, or unhealthy behavior.
Notice, the Lord doesn’t say, embarrass the sinner by bringing up their faults
in public. That’s not ever one of the steps, is it? Rather, correction is done
in private. Calmly, rationally. Not out of revenge, but concern.
It’s interesting to note that the Lord’s teaching on
intervention follows his parable of the lost sheep, in which the Lord speaks of
the love his heavenly Father has for those who have strayed into sin and error.
Jesus, the Son, is sent by the Father to seek out the lost sheep.
As members of the body of Christ on Earth, one of the ways
God seeks out and saves his lost sheep is through us: through family members
who lovingly and gently confront those who struggle with addiction to drugs,
gambling, pornography, internet shopping, video games, parents who act as
watchmen over their children, as we heard in the prophet Ezekiel today. If a
family member stops going to Church, ignores Church teaching, blasphemes in
public, we have a duty to gently correct them, especially parents toward their
children.
Of course, the point of correcting fellow Christians when
they fall into sin isn’t to prove that we are holier than they are. The point
is concern for their souls, and helping them to be the people God made them to
be.
God loves lost sheep, which is why he sends us out. God
loves addicts. Many people I’ve known who have struggled with addiction have
great intellectual gifts, have tremendously large hearts. And sometimes they
turn to addiction because they feel emotions like grief so deeply they turn to
other mind-altering substances to numb their pain. Though they act in unlovable
ways, the addict is a child of God, loved by God.
Intervention and fraternal correction aims to help people
who sometimes become incapable of helping themselves, who have fallen into a
cycle of hurting themselves and their families, who have started making
self-destructive choices. Part of being pro-life, is to help people when they
are making anti-life decisions, choices that are destructive to their eternal
life, their spiritual life, emotional life, physical life, or family life.
In the Reading from Romans today, St. Paul teaches that all
the 10 commandments, don’t commit adultery, don’t break the sabbath day, don’t
commit murder, don’t steal or covet, can all be summed-up by the command: “You
shall love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence,
love is the fulfillment of the law.”
Fraternal correction, confronting the sinner, the addict, is
done out of love. Correct the sinner is listed in every Catholic religious
textbook as an act of mercy—a spiritual act of charity. Parents correcting
their children when they act selfishly, gently correcting your spouse when they
act selfishly is done out of love. Helping someone to be the person God made
them to be, to walk righteously in the Law of the Lord, is an act of love.
It takes a lot of courage, doesn’t it, to confront someone
with gentleness and patience. It’s easier to ignore it, minimize it, justify it,
or just complain about it to a third party. It takes courage and carefulness.
Engaging a loved one in fraternal correction is a delicate operation: you need
to have your facts straight, and you better think before you speak, and ensure
that you are rooted in the truth of the Gospel, thinking not as the world
thinks, but with the mind of Christ. You need to make sure you aren’t just
complaining about valid choices that differ from your own way of doing
things—that you aren’t reacting out of a bruised ego, but out of patience and
love. That’s hard! This isn’t an easy Gospel.
It is important to take up this difficult task is because we
would want someone to help us if we fell in to behavior that was truly hurtful
to our family or to the church. “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto
you” Jesus teaches in his sermon on the mount. If it was me whose life was on a
downward spiral of self-destruction, if it was me choosing a lifestyle contrary
to the Gospel, I hope I’d have people in my life who loved me enough to help me
see the truth about my actions or errors, and help me to reconcile with God and
repair the damage I’ve wrought.
We have a duty to speak the truth with love, to care enough
about the people in our life that we will help them know and follow Jesus
Christ to help others become the people God made them to be, to live in the
freedom of the children of God and receive an everlasting inheritance in heaven
for the Glory of God and salvation of souls.
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