Holy Family 2020 - What makes a family holy

 

A few years ago, on the Feast of the Holy Family, Pope Francis asked the world a simple question: “What makes a family holy?”

The Pope mentioned how holy families keep the faith amidst challenges and spread the faith to other families by setting good Christian example. And members of holy families support each other through challenges and are patient with each other. But at the top of his list, Pope Francis explains what makes holy families holy, is that they pray. And Pope Francis said,”.…I would like to ask you, dear families do you pray together from time to time as a family? Praying the Our Father together, around the table, is not something extraordinarily difficult: it’s easy. And praying the Rosary together, as a family, is very beautiful and a source of great strength!  And also praying for one another! The husband for his wife, the wife for her husband, both together for their children, the children for their grandparents….praying for each other.  This is what it means to pray in the family and it is what makes the family strong: prayer.”

There can be no real holiness, either for oneself or ones family, without prayer. And the peace, and healing, and blessing, and guidance for family members who seem to be making one bad decision after another, patience with one another, and respect for one another, these things will only be obtained when they are prayed for, regularly.

Often in the confessional, when someone confesses that they are losing their temper with a particular family member, I recommend adding special prayers at the very beginning of the day, before you begin to interact with them. To pray honestly to God, “Lord, help me.  I’ve been arguing with my spouse a lot, we’ve been getting on each other’s nerves, we don’t seem to be listening to each other, we don’t seem to be understanding each other, as we should. Lord help me. Help us.  Lord give me patience to love my spouse as I should, to listen as I should, to understand as I should, to serve as I should. Lord help me. And help my spouse and I to build a holy family, to emulate the Holy Family and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph”

When family members commit to praying for each other—praying for the grace to love each other as they should and loving God as they should, that’s a huge step in the right direction, and a huge step in opening the life of the family to the grace and peace God wishes to give you. 

In the Collect for this feast of the Holy Family, we asked God to graciously grant us the ability to imitate the Holy family in practicing the virtues of family life. And constant, regular, devout prayer for each other is one of those virtues of family life that we need to take seriously. 

For Prayer enables us to love as we should—to love God, to love neighbor, to love our family, and to love our enemy, as we are called to as followers of Christ. As prayer diminishes, love will soon follow. Why? Because prayer opens the soul to receive the help we need from God. Prayer acknowledges that I cannot love as I should by my own power. 

Notice, in the Gospel for this feast day, we see Mary and Joseph going to God to bless their family. Mary and Joseph go to the Temple to offer the prescribed prayers and sacrifices to thank God for the safe delivery of their child, to ask God to bless their child and their family, asking God to help them to be good parents, to consecrate their child to God’s purposes. There’s a powerful petition parents do well to offer to God daily: Lord help my children to be consecrated to your purpose. That’s a prayer that should begin when the child is still in the womb: a mother’s prayer: “God, I consecrate this baby to your Holy Will”.

Notice, too, that it was in the Temple, as Mary and Joseph were being faithful to the prescribed religious precepts, that God’s will was made known to them for their child. Similarly, for all families it is always in the context of the devout practice of our faith that God’s will is made known. As families practice the precepts of the faith, together, they are bound more closely in the bonds of love. But, as families fall away from the devout practice of the faith, their fractures begin to intensify—they turn away from God’s will, and begin to focus on what they think will make them happy and whole. But, the human recipe for wholeness, divorced from God, will always bring frustration, exhaustion, and unhappiness.

The family that prays together stays together. So, prays together in the home: before meals, before bed, maybe praying the angelus together at noon and six. Also, Pray for one another individually, privately, particularly at the beginning of the day. And pray together in church. I know husbands and wives who make a holy hour together every week, and can attest to the powerful blessings that flow from that hour kneeling in front of the blessed Sacrament together for their family. 

Families, too, that come up to church for confession together, unleash the power of the Lord’s mercy in their families. 

Speaking of confession. I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows that I resumed offering confessions in the church months ago. It’s been kind of lonely in their on Saturday afternoons and Sundays between masses. I also added confessions on Monday evenings at 4:45 prior to the 5:30pm Monday Latin Mass. I go to confession at least once a month. I strongly recommend monthly confession to every Catholic. Again, what makes a family holy? A family who prays. And that act of confession, where members humbly approach the sacrament to acknowledge their failures to love each other as they should and to practice those virtues of family life as they should, is so powerful. You are going to see a lot of growth in holiness and peace in that family who confesses often, versus the family that can’t or won’t admit its mistakes to God.

In his reflections, Pope Francis summarized what makes a family holy, when he said,  “The family of Nazareth is holy: because it was centered on Jesus.” Prayer, the precepts of our faith, the humble acknowledgment of sin, and striving for virtue help us to remain centered on Jesus and enable us to grow in the holiness God wants for each of us. May all of the families of our parish and in our neighborhood grow in holiness by the same means, and may all members of the human family become united to God the Father through His Son for the glory of God and salvation of souls.