19th Week in Ordinary Time 2022 - Friday - Divorce and Accompaniment

When the Pharisees approached Jesus and asked him a question about marriage, they were not seeking to learn, like we Catholics seek to learn from Jesus about God and how to live. They were looking to trap him.

Remember, earlier in the Gospel, John the Baptist was arrested and killed for his teaching on marriage. John had claimed that King Herod’s “marriage” to the wife of his brother Philip was unlawful. 

To ask Jesus about marriage was to invite him to criticize the same king and suffer the same consequence. It was a trap.

But the Lord speaks truth anyway. Not only is it unlawful to marry someone who is already married, it is impossible. Divorce, in the biblical sense, the severing of the marriage bond, is impossible. It is impossible to sever the marriage bond of two people whom God has joined.

And this is the consistent, unchanging teaching of the Catholic Church for two thousand years. 

Our current Catechism, in number 2384 states “Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery.”

Now, the Catechism in number 1649 recognizes “that are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons” such as in the case of abuse. “In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart.” But, “the spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union.”

And there are cases in which some marriages, assumed to be valid at the time of the wedding, are later investigated to be null due to a number of invalidating circumstances. In these cases annulments are able to be granted.

What should we, attending daily Mass, take away from this teaching? Maybe we do well to consider: what can we do to help Catholics lives out in fidelity to God this teaching on marriage? What can I do for the “divorced” Catholics in my life? 

My own parents, by the way, had their marriage declared null. The annulment process is often the road fallen-away Catholics need to walk in order to return to the Sacraments. 

Likely, like John, like the Lord himself in the Gospel today, we are called to speak the truth with love, patience, compassion, and courage. But not just to speak  the truth, but to accompany our loved ones, walking with them side by side, doing whatever way we can to help them live for the glory of God and salvation of souls. 

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That all Christians may seek to be faithful to the Lord’s teachings and commandments concerning marriage and the family, that Christian families may be filled with love and joy.

For all married couples, that they may be faithful to the Gospel in every dimension of their married life and give all an example of God’s ever-faithful love.  

That the children of our parish and school may be blessed to know the grace of faith-filled families, that they may be shielded from the sins and errors of our culture.

For Pope Francis and for all the bishops and clergy of the Church: that they will be faithful to the preaching the truth of the Gospel especially in the face of secular pressure and persecution.  

That the sick, lonely, elderly, homeless, widowed, and all those experiencing trials or suffering of any kind may be strengthened by God’s love and know His comfort and peace.  

For those who have died, for all deceased spouses; that they may know the eternal peace and joy of the kingdom of heaven.  

27th Sunday in Ordinary Time 2021 - Marriage in God's Plan

 
I mentioned to Cara, our Parish Secretary this week that the lazy days of summer have certainly come to an end here at Saint Ignatius.  RCIA is off and running, monthly Taize prayer services will be beginning this month, PSR is in session, the day school is already half way through its first quarter.  Our Clambake is coming up next Sunday, the basketball league is beginning sign-ups, weekly bible study is ongoing, , legion of mary and st. Vincent de paul continue to meet, our new monthly young adult group draws young catholics from across the diocese, we’re going to begin a repair project on our stained glass windows, and don’t tell our music director, but advent is only two months away.

And all this on top of the normal rhythm of parish life: the joy of celebrating daily Mass, confessions seem to be a bit more popular than when I arrived two and a half years ago, anointings, marriages, baptisms, parish staff meetings, even, really aren’t that bad. But, one of the highlights for me each month is our first Friday Eucharistic Holy Hour.

Last night, I had a wedding rehearsal, for one of our last weddings of the year and then we had our holy hour. And after a very long week, that holy hour really hit the spot. And realizing I hadn’t really come up with anything for my weekend homily, I so I asked the Lord what he might want me to preach on this weekend: both at our Saturday wedding and then for our weekend masses. And I began to see a little overlap.

Our first reading and the Gospel this weekend are readings chosen often by couples for their wedding Mass. I always think it’s rather profound that the era of livestreaming and twelfth generation iphones, couples choose for their wedding a passage from this 3500 year-old ancient text from the first book of the Bible, the book of Genesis. And in it, we find that the ancient biblical vision for marriage, God’s vision, is not outdated, it’s not a relic of the past we have yet to discard—like an embarrassing photo from our teenage years. It’s as relevant as ever, because it is truly God’s word.  

In this passage, our first reading, we read of the origin, the genesis of the first marriage in human history: a match made in the earthly paradise, in the Garden of Eden. 

Adam had been created first. And while working and laboring in the Garden, Adam experienced this deep longing: this longing not just for a friend, but a wife. The Creator acknowledged that this longing was by design—he says it’s not good for man to be alone…this longing for a wife was placed in the man’s heart by God from the beginning. It’s all part of the plan.  So God gets to work again, in order to complete his Creation. He puts the man into a deep slumber and creates a wife for Him.

Upon awaking from his deep slumber, the man let’s out this joyous exclamation when he glimpses his bride. He says, “AT LAST!” 

When I prepare couples for marriage, I meet with them for a minimum of six months, for many of them sometimes over a year. After all those years of dating and marriage preparation, their wedding day has “At Last” arrived—the day when two become one.

So what we have here in the very first book of the Bible is God’s Word teaching us that marriage is not a mere human institution, but has been established by God from the foundation of the world. “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife”—a holy longing placed in our hearts is fulfilled in the holy union of matrimony. 

This passage is of such great importance that Jesus quotes this passage verbatim in the Gospels. The Lord quotes this passage from Genesis in his explanation of why divorce is not possible and not part of the plan of God. In lawful, Sacramental marriage, like Adam and Eve, Bride and Groom become One—a new creation. They are joined together by God and cannot be separated.  What God has joined man cannot separate.

Most couples, when asked, “Why get married?” give a two-fold answer: “Because we love each other and want to start a family.” This answer is consistent with Church teaching that the purpose of marriage is twofold: unity and procreation—to be joined in mutual love and to bear children.

The Sacrament of Marriage is powerful because it helps couples be faithful to these two ends. That can’t be said for a couple who simply enters into a so-called civil marriage before a Justice of the Peace. Through the Sacrament of Marriage, celebrated according to Church law, God abundantly blesses husband and wife, giving them the strength they need to love and honor each other, for better, for worse, through sickness and health in an indissoluble bond. It also gives them special grace for the tremendously difficult role of being Christian parents, especially in the 21st century. 

Raising a Christian child now, in a culture which is increasingly hostile to our faith, is no doubt, one of the greatest challenges Christian families have ever had face. But through the Sacrament of Marriage, God’s special grace is there.

Additionally, the Sacrament of Marriage does something that most couples probably aren’t thinking of when they approach the priest for marriage preparation. The Sacrament of Marriage turns Christian Husband and Wife into a sort of living Sacrament—visible signs of Love. Christian husband and wife shows us that in this broken world, love is possible—love is real. 

This is why the Devil hates Christian marriage and does everything he can to pervert it, break it up, and undermine it as an institution. He hates it because it is a reflection of God. No wonder he wants to deface it and promote disrespect for it, to spread lies like “God never intended one man to love one woman for the rest of his life.” It’s a lie having its genesis with the Father of lies, who himself refused to love God for the duration of his life. The Devil doesn’t want us to believe in love, not true love, only in counterfeit, perverted substitutes: to settle for less.

Marriage matters.  It is bound up with God's plan for the world.  The self-giving generative love of husbands and wives shows the world that permanent, exclusive, faithful love is possible; and by God's permanent, exclusive, faithful love for us, we are saved.

If any of you are in a civil, non-Sacramental marriage, please give me a call, so we can work on rectifying the situation. Or if you and your spouse are having some marital problems and are looking for marriage help, I can share with you some resources that you will certainly find helpful if you give them a try. And if you are civilly divorced, please know that there continues to be a place for you in the Church, and I invite you to consider giving me a call to discern if it is appropriate to seek an annulment.

The Church needs strong, holy Catholic marriages and holy families—in which the Word of God is practiced and cherished. 

The month of October is traditionally devoted to the Holy Rosary. The Holy Father and the Bishops encourage us to pray the rosary daily during this month, and what better intention than to pray for marriages and families. Pray your rosary for those couples in irregular situations. Pray for spouses going through marital difficulties. Pray for the divorced, that they can know God’s healing and discern their role in the Church.

For each of us, celibate, married, or single, have a role in promoting happy, healthy, holy Christian marriage for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

Monday after Epiphany 2020 - "Light has arisen"

“The people who sit in darkness have seen a great light, on those dwelling in a land overshadowed by death, light has arisen.”

Despite the great Christian joy of Christmas, the Christmas season can be a time of great darkness: winter depression grows, loneliness is deeply felt, grief from past mistakes and sins often resurfaces.   Family tensions can flare-up around Christmas gatherings. I just saw a report that the divorce rate surges after Christmas.  “How things are” is found to be very far from “how things should be.”

Yet, at this very time, when darkness overshadows so much, the Church proclaims the true Hope of the World: Christ is the light shines in the darkness.

Yesterday, we celebrated the Epiphany of the Lord, the revelation, the shining forth of Jesus as savior of the world.

On this Monday after Epiphany, the passage of Matthew Gospel describes Jesus starting his mission in Galilee.  Jesus’ Galilean ministry is a sort of Epiphany—Jesus preaching and teaching and healing manifests God’s light to a people in darkness.

He calls those in darkness to the light of repentance and discipleship.  Repentance and discipleship are the remedy for the darkness of the season. Christ is the remedy for our demons, our lunacy, our paralysis, our brokenness. In the light of Christ, our false hopes and the empty promises of the busyness and materialism of secular Christmas are exposed as illusions. And the true path to happiness, Christian discipleship, is illuminated.

The Gospel also tells us that the sick were brought to him.  If there is anything we still need to repent of, the Holy Spirit works to bring us to repentance and Jesus’s divine mercy.  But also, the Holy Spirit works to use as instruments to bring the physically, emotionally, and spiritually sick in our family and in our community to Jesus’ divine mercy, through our words, example, and actions.

May we be docile and obedient to all the Lord asks of us today, that we might be witnesses of his light, that his light may continue to shine on a people overshadowed by death, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.
 
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We bring forth now our prayers of petitions.

For the conversion of all those who have turned their hearts from Christ, for those who have fallen into serious sin, for a strengthening of all of the faithful in virtue. And That God may bring the faithless to believe in His Son and increase the faith of those struggling to believe.

For Christians who are persecuted throughout the world, especially those who face martyrdom, that they may have a faith that is constant and pure. And for Pope Francis’ prayer intention for the month of January: that Christians, followers of other religions, and all people of goodwill may promote peace and justice in the world.

For those oppressed by hunger, sickness or loneliness, that through the mystery of the Nativity of Christ, they may find relief in both mind and body.

For all who have died, and for all the poor souls in purgatory, and for X. for whom this Mass is offered.

Incline your merciful ear to our prayers, we ask, O Lord, and listen in kindness to the supplications of those who call on you. Through Christ our Lord

19th Week in OT 2019 - Friday - Love and Marriage

A few years ago, already, in 2016, Pope Francis issued a document on the topic of “Love in the Family” called Amoris Laetitia, latin for “The Joy of Love”. Love, authentic love, brings authentic joy.

Pope Francis offered this document on the issues of marriage and family because marriage and family matter.  Doing what it takes for a healthy marriage, having a God-centered family, raising children according to the law of Christ, these things matter for the future of civilization and the salvation of souls. The Pope said, “The welfare of the family is decisive for the future of the world and that of the Church.”

We are seeing in our own day how faithless, disordered relationships, rampant promiscuity and unrestricted sexual license bring so much brokenness, so much sadness. When men and women seek marriage for selfish reasons, disaster ensues. They bring hurt to themselves and particularly to their children.

Any priest who has worked on marriage annulments can attest to how selfishness, stunted maturity, attachment to worldliness, unwillingness to forgive, poor communication, secular notions of happiness, all effect marriage negatively.

This is why the Catholic Church takes what the Lord teaches in the Gospel this morning very seriously. Where many of the Christian denominations water down, change, or simply ignore this teaching, the Catholic Church sees this morning’s Gospel as pivotal for civilization’s survival and our faithfulness to the Gospel.

Not all are called to Christian marriage. Some are called to celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of God. Some need to work on the selfishness in their hearts before seeking to enter into marriage, for marriage, as you know, requires great selflessness.

For those who are living the Christian life in an “imperfect manner” as the Pope calls it: those living together outside of marriage, those only civilly married, those divorced and remarried outside of the Church, Pope Francis explains that “following the divine pedagogy”, that is the teaching of Christ, “the Church seeks the grace of conversion for them”, the Church seeks to help people remedy their lives.

Pope Francis concludes Amoris Laetitia with these words: “May we never lose heart because of our limitations, or ever stop seeking that fullness of love and communion which God holds out before us.” Each of us are certainly called to a life full of love. May each of us strive for that Christ-like love and self-sacrifice which brings joy and life to the world, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

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That all Christians may seek to be faithful to the Lord’s teachings and commandments concerning marriage and the family, that Christian families may be filled with love and joy.

For all married couples, that they may be faithful to the Gospel in every dimension of their married life and give all an example of God’s ever-faithful love.

That the children of our parish and school may be blessed to know the grace of faith-filled families, that they may be shielded from the sins and errors of our culture.

For Pope Francis and for all the bishops and clergy of the Church: that they will be faithful to the preaching the truth of the Gospel especially in the face of secular pressure and persecution.

That the sick, lonely, elderly, homeless, widowed, and all those experiencing trials or suffering of any kind may be strengthened by God’s love and know His comfort and peace.

For those who have died, for all deceased spouses; that they may know the eternal peace and joy of the kingdom of heaven.

27th Sunday in OT 2018 - Marriage & Divorce and the good of children

In the school and PSR this week, I visited the fifth through eighth grades, inviting our young people to consider becoming altar servers. We talked about how serving at the altar is one of the opportunities for service that God gives to young Catholics; serving at the altar is truly a service to God, to the parish, for a reverent celebration of Holy Mass.

I remember a few years ago at a previous assignment, a young man approached me and confessed that he would like to be an altar server, but his father would not allow it because his father did not want to bring him to church. This is a Catholic child, in a catholic school, saddened and confused because his family refused to go to Church. We have young people in this parish who carry a similar sadness.


Catholic spouses, on the day of their wedding, exchange vows to each other, but they also make promises to God about their future children. The priest explicitly asks the bride and groom: do you promise to raise your children according to the law of Christ and His Church. That promise is repeated several times in the ritual for baptism: In bringing your children to be baptized, you are accepting the responsibility of training them in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring them up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

The role of parents is paramount. Parents who take their role seriously raise their children to love Jesus to know and follow His commands. St Paul even talks about this responsibility in his letter  to the Ephesians: “Fathers… bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

I bring up this topic of the role of parents in light of our scripture readings this weekend. In the first reading, we hear of the origin of marriage—how God, responding to Adam’s desire for a wife, creates Eve to be lifelong companion and mother. The passage uses poetic language to describe a spiritual reality. “The two become one” Genesis says. The future of two individual souls become intertwined for a unified purpose: the salvation of their souls and the procreation of children.

This passage is so important that it is one of very few times that Jesus, in his ministry, quotes word-for-word a passage from the Old Testament; I think it’s the longest passage he quotes in all of the Gospels.

In a lawful, sacramental marriage, the Lord teaches, the two have become one—they are a new creation, they are joined together by God and cannot be separated by any human power.  What God has joined man cannot separate.

And then, immediately after this teaching about marriage, St. Mark tells us that parents were bringing their children to be blessed by the Lord. These are very good parents who recognize Jesus’ authentic teaching. At this point in the Gospel, Jesus’ disciples do not understand how good this is, for when they tell the parents to go away—that Jesus has more important things to do—Jesus rebukes his disciples: never, ever, do anything, to keep a child from knowing, and loving, and being blessed by the Lord Jesus.

The psychological and spiritual good of children is one reason why God has forbidden divorce. Our Catechism says that divorce is a “grave offense” that causes “grave harm” and leaves children traumatized.

The book, “Primal Loss” contains heartbreaking descriptions of the trauma of divorce upon children. One adult child of divorce wrote: “I was devastated as a child when my dad drove away, and I will never forget standing in our front yard literally screaming: “Come back!” I didn’t understand what was happening, and my three-year-old sister certainly didn’t understand. I remember my maternal grandma grabbing me, telling me he loved other women and to stop screaming…I “survived” the divorce, but the fallout wasn’t pretty: lots of acting out and “unsettled” behavior”. It really skewed the way I looked at guys and what I thought “love” was. If marriage wasn’t forever, why should anything else be?”

The “foreverness” of marriage, the indissolubility of it, is for the good of the spouses and the good of children. This is something we cover very seriously with engaged couples preparing for Christian marriage, to work on healthy communication and healthy faith lives, not only for their good, but the good of their children.

Divorce lawyers and our throw-away culture incentivize divorce, and have virtually normalized it. This makes Catholic teaching counter-cultural. But trust not in popular opinion but in the Lord, and commit to doing everything we can to promote happy, healthy, holy marriage. For as marriage goes, there goes the culture. If healthy, Christian marriage is promoted in a culture, the culture will endure, the future will have hope. The fate of the world, in a sense, is bound to our faithfulness to these very passages today.

If your marriage is going through a rocky time, don’t give up. Marriage is resilient. The Church is here to help you develop the skills you need to endure the rockiness. Often enduring rockiness entails developing healthier communication and conflict resolution skills, and for couples to learn to pray for and with one another.

If you, like me, are a child of divorce, renew your trust in the Lord, go to Him for healing, pray for the ability to forgive your fallible parents, and to learn from their mistakes.

If you are a divorced Catholic, I urge you, don’t give up on the faith. Turn to the Lord for healing. There is a support group for divorced Catholics in our district.

If you are a widow or widower: thank God for the good times, and don’t be afraid to share your wisdom with the younger generations.

If you are divorced and remarried outside the Church…well, that’s a whole other topic. Best to review the Church’s teaching on this matter, and plan on setting up a meeting with your parish clergy to discuss it.

And if you are a Christian married couple: pray daily for faithfulness to those marriage vows: to love, honor, and serve your spouse, to be examples of faith for your children, a signs of the Lord’s ever-faithful love to your fellow Christians and to the world

May each of us, celibate, married, or single, commit to setting good example for the younger generation to whom we pass the faith, that they may never be hindered by our poor example from coming to the Lord, loving him, finding the meaning of their lives in Him for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

10th Week of OT 2018 - Friday - Tiny Whispers and Clear Teachings

What an interesting dichotomy of readings.

On one hand, from the first book of Kings, we hear the beloved account of Elijah, listening on Mt Horeb for the voice of God. And the voice of God was not in the fierce rock-crushing, mountain-rending wind, the earthquake or the fire, but in the tiny whispering sound. And it was this barely detectable whisper that sent the prophet Elijah on his sacred mission.

On the other hand, in our Gospel, Jesus is giving this rather blunt-force moral teaching on how to avoid sexual temptation and the sinfulness of illegitimate remarriage after divorce.

Our scriptures hold these two readings side-by-side for us, to remind us, perhaps, that it is not either-or, but, both-and.

Yes, God speaks to us in the quiet, in the silence. And so we have a duty to listen to him there, in the silence, the duty to quiet down our lives every day to hear that whisper. The inspiration to go out to serve the needy, to reach out to a down-trodden neighbor, the impulse to offer one’s life by following a religious vocation, these messages often come in a whisper.

But then, God knows that we also need the very clear, loud voice of the moral teaching of the Church. When it comes down to the difference between right-and-wrong the voice of God is pretty clear.

I think part of today’s religious confusion is that we want inspiration to come in the form of undeniably loud signs or bright-neon lights,  “bring food to the hungry”, “join the seminary.” And some want the clear moral teaching of the Church to be hushed, to be left to the individual to discern for themselves. But we must develop an ear, an obedience, to both ways the voice of God, the Word of God, comes to us: obedient to those quiet inspirations and obedient to the clear moral teaching of the Church’s magisterium.

“Whoever has ears, let them hear” and follow the Lord’s voice faithfully and courageously, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.
 
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For all the priests of our diocese beginning new assignments this week, for their attentiveness to the needs of those they serve.

For those experiencing discouragement or despair, that they may know the goodness and closeness of God through the charity of faithful Christians.

For the unity of the Church, for the conversion of those in error, for those who deny God’s existence or despair of his mercy.

For all the needs of the sick and the suffering, the homebound, those in nursing homes and hospitals, the underemployed and unemployed, immigrants and refugees, victims of natural disaster, war, and terrorism, for all those who grieve the loss of a loved one, and those who will die today, for their comfort, and the consolation of their families.

For all who have died, and for all the poor souls in purgatory, and for X. for whom this Mass is offered.

Incline your merciful ear to our prayers, we ask, O Lord, and listen in kindness to the supplications of those who call on you. Through Christ our Lord

Homily: Friday - 7th Week in OT 2017 - Healing hardened hearts

Israel was often chastised by God’s prophets in the Old Testament for being hard-hearted.

Hardness of heart is the stubborn refusal to yield to God, to accept his truth and follow his commandments.  The Greek word for hardness of heart in Mark’s Gospel here is sklerokardia, literally sclerosis of the heart.

The obstinate rejection of the ways of God leads to this spiritual disease, in which the human person closes itself off from the love, truth, goodness, and beauty of God.

Remember, early on in Mark’s Gospel when Jesus enters a synagogue on the Sabbath where there was a man with a withered hand.  Jesus was deeply grieved at the hard-heartedness of the Pharisees. They wrongly believed that it was not right for Jesus to heal the man.  For the Pharisees, their human interpretation of the law was more important than the truth of who Jesus was and what he came to do.

Here in today’s Gospel passage, Jesus exposes the terrible hard-heartedness which had afflicted the Pharisees’ understanding of marriage. The Pharisees had lost touch with God’s original plan, blinded to the truth, goodness, and beauty of holy matrimony. The Pharisees, like many of our contemporaries believed that marriage was a human convention that could be altered or redefined or dissolved.  But Jesus exposes their error and teaches that, marriage is not a mere human institution, but a bond made by God himself.

The study of our faith and the practice of our faith exposes us to the healing graces of Christ, which heals our hard-heartedness not only in doctrinal matters, but the hard-heartedness which keeps us from spreading the love and mercy of God.

One of the great promises of devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus which has always struck me is that Jesus promise St. Margaret Mary that those who love the Sacred Heart practice devotion to the Sacred Heart will have the ability to touch the most hardened of hearts.  God can melt hardened-hearts, he can restore those blinded to the truth, he can bring unbelievers to belief, he can bring comfort to the most despairing, the effects of sin on the human mind and heart can be healed.

Through the love of Christ and the truth taught by Christ and his holy Bride, the Church, may all hardened hearts be healed and filled with his grace and mercy for the glory of God and salvation of souls.

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That all married couples may reflect the beauty of God’s love and share it with others, and that families would always draw strength for virtuous living from the teachings of our Lord as transmitted by the Church, we pray to the Lord.

That families would become schools of love as all learn to treat each person, especially the most vulnerable, with compassion, gentleness and respect, we pray to the Lord.

That those who are experiencing brokenness in family life through divorce, separation or death would find strength in the example of Christ who overcame all the brokenness of our world through his passion, we pray to the Lord.

For all those who have rejected the Gospel, for Christians who have fallen away from the Church, for all those who have fallen into mortal sin, for their conversion and the conversion of all hearts to deeper fidelity to the Gospel, we pray to the Lord.

For the needs of the sick and suffering, for those in nursing homes, hospital, or hospice care, for victims of natural disaster, victims of war, violence, and Christian persecution, for those imprisoned and those struggling with addiction and mental illness, for those who grieve the lost of a loved one, and for those who will die today.