Showing posts with label bereavement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bereavement. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

August 27 2025 - St. Monica - Tears of a grief-stricken parent

“Do not weep” the Lord said to the mournful mother. For any grief-stricken parent, those are challenging words. How does a parent hold back their tears at the death of a child?

The grief of a parent who loses a child is unlike any other kind of sorrow. There is shock and disbelief. Even if the death is expected through illness, the reality of loss often feels incomprehensible.

It is a grief that brings with it fatigue and body ache. A parent feels as if their identity is shattered—are they really a parent if their child is gone? Even when the loss is beyond their control, there is a sense of failure.

The Lord drew near to the grief-stricken mother with compassion, and as members of the Church, we are to do the same. We have a special obligation to the grief-stricken—those who have lost their children or spouses or family physically. Our bereavement ministry is one type of outreach, but we do well to pray often for the grief-stricken.

This reading has been especially chosen by the Church for the memorial of St. Monica, who wept for her son, Augustine, as he engaged in a life of mortal sin.

Augustine was not unlike many modern Catholic young people. After moving out their Catholic home, they stop going to church, they engage in licentiousness, they adopt behaviors and ideas that are totally inconsistent with the path of life. Monica wept for her son, who had a child out of wedlock and became involved in strange cults. I know many parents who are filled with similar grief.

St. Ambrose, who was instrumental in Augustine’s conversion, wrote how the whole Church weeps for the fallen away. He wrote, “Let the Mother of the Church weep for you, she who intercedes for all as a widowed mother for only sons, for she suffers with the spiritual grief…when she perceives her children urged on to death by mortal sins”.

For that is why Monica wept: she dreaded that her son would die in mortal seen and be separated from the Lord of Life in eternity. But Monica did not just weep or dread. As a woman of faith, she prayed and entrusted her Son to the Lord day after day. She brought the intention of Augustine’s conversion to the altar as she attended mass.

Years later, in his spiritual autobiography, Augustine writes about how his mother was instrumental in his conversion: “Lord, while she constantly wept over me in your sight as a over a dead man, it was over one who though dead could still be raised to life again; she offered me to you upon the bier of her medication, begging you to say to this widow’s son, ‘Young man, arise, I tell you,’ that he might live again and begin to speak, so that you could restore him to his mother.”

St. Monica trusted that Augustine, though apparently dead, could be raised. St. Monica is a model of patience, persistence, prayer, faith and trust in the Lord of Life. May she assist all those who grieve, and pray for all those for whom we grieve, for the glory of God and the salvation of souls.

- - - -  

With confidence in God who hears the cry of the sorrowful and answers the prayers of the faithful, let us place our petitions before Him.

For the holy Church of God: that, like St. Monica, she may persevere in prayer for all her children, especially those who have wandered from the faith.

For parents who grieve the loss of a child: that they may find comfort in the Lord who draws near to the brokenhearted.

For those experiencing any kind of hardship or sorrow, isolation, addiction, or disease: may they know God’s strength and peace and the assistance of the Christian people.

For all our beloved dead, that they may be raised up in Christ to the joy of eternal life.

God of mercy and compassion, you heard the tears and prayers of St. Monica and brought about the conversion of her son Augustine. Hear our prayers this day, console those who grieve, and bring back the lost to your Church, through Christ our Lord.

 

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Homily: 31st Sunday in OT 2016 - "To seek out and to save"

A priest I know tells the story of a young man who was dying of cancer—who was just 24 years old.  In the final stages of his illness, the priest went to see the young man, and the young man said: “Father, you once told us something that has made it easier for me to accept my death.  You said: ‘There are only two potential tragedies in life, and dying young isn’t one of them.  You said the first tragedy is If you go through life and don’t know that you are loved, and the second is if you go through life and you don’t tell those whom you love that you love them. When the doctors told me that my cancer was terminal, my family has stood by my side, I realized how much I’ve been loved, and I’ve been given this time to tell my family and others how much they mean to me.  People ask me: ‘What’s it like being 24 years old and dying?’  I tell them, ‘It’s not so bad.  It beats being 50 years old and living without values and faith and knowledge that I’m loved by God and my family.”

Faith prepares us for death.  Faith helps us to love and to know we are loved.

I thought of this story for several reasons. For one, it is priesthood Sunday. We thank God for our priests and pray for our priests. Priests who baptize, priests who absolve, priests who celebrate the Eucharist, priests who help hardened sinners return to Christ, priests who help families live the Gospel, priests who help us prepare for the end of our earthly life.  The Catholic Church will need priests until the end of time, to carry out the ordained ministry according to God’s plan.  And each of us has a role to help young men hear God’s call to the priesthood—help them to truly believe that to be a priest is a wonderful vocation and in invaluable one.

This may sound a bit morbid or strange, but as I began to discern my own priestly vocation, one of the aspects of priestly ministry that really spoke to me was the priest’s serenity in the face of death. Priests are called to visit the beds of the dying. The priest is summoned to the beds dying strangers and longtime parishioners, both lukewarm and devout souls; and he is called upon to administer the Church’s final rites, to help the soul prepare to meet God.

Death—which most men fear and spend their lives fleeing from and distracting themselves from, priests, put aside this fear, perhaps even conquer it, to bring peace to others. What a blessed vocation!
Another reason I thought of the story is because today is our annual Bereavement Mass. Joining us today are family members of those who have died in the last year. We grieve for those who have died. Grieve because life is different without them, their absence is felt so deeply. And so it’s important for us to gather together in our grief to pray for each other—to turn to God who is the source of our consolation, and to thank God for the opportunities he gave us to love them.

That love, no doubt continues, even years after their passing as we pray for the departed, remembering them at the altar, lifting their souls to God.

This Wednesday, November 2 is the feast of All Souls—a day set aside in the Church year simply to pray for the repose of our loved ones. Though Tuesday is the feast of All Saints, a Holy Day of Obligation, where all Catholics are obligated to attend Mass, I also urge you to consider attending Mass on Wednesday, to pray for our beloved dead.

One of the most devastating and tragic effects of the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century, was that Protestants stopped praying for the poor souls.  And they really lost something essential to the Christian life. Praying for the dead is part of being Christian. It’s a practice found in Scripture, taught by Sacred Tradition, encouraged in the words and writings of the Saints.

Why do we pray for the dead? It’s an act of mercy! It’s an act of mercy to help those in need. And the souls in purgatory are in need of our prayers. Those who die with even the smallest amount of earthly selfishness, with attachment to the things and ways of the world, are in need of purification before they can enter heaven.

Understandably, many Catholics do not like to pray for our departed loved ones.  We like to imagine our loved ones who did display so much love and affection throughout their lives to have entered immediately into heaven. It can be painful to think of them still awaiting entrance into the heavenly kingdom.  But to be honest, most souls need such purification. The only members of the faithful departed we know with absolute certainty to be in heaven are those definitively declared by the Church to be canonized Saints.  Until a soul is declared a Saint by the church we do not err in praying for their eternal repose.

Many of the saints, St. Padre Pio, St. Catherine of Genoa, had strong devotion to praying for the poor souls.  It is an act of love to pray for our loved ones. So continue to show your love for them by praying for them constantly, offering rosaries and novenas for them, having Masses celebrated for them. Just as we can offer comfort to our loved ones by hold their hands as they lay dying, so too we can bring them comfort and aid through our prayers.

If you haven’t had a Mass celebrated for loved ones recently, go to the parish office this week and schedule a Mass. For, the Mass is the greatest and most powerful prayer we can offer on behalf of those who have died.

Christ's whole life on earth was dedicated to bringing people back into friendship with God, helping them to be free from sin, as he says in the Gospel today: "The Son of Man has come to seek and to save what was lost."

All of us have been given a share in this mission: to seek and to save what was lost.

By praying for the dead we help souls complete the journey, by sharing our faith with unbelievers we may help souls begin the journey. We thank God this weekend for our priests, and pray that we may always have good faithful priests to assist us on the journey, and pray for and thank God for the gift of our loved ones who have walked with us, laughed with us, cried with us, and embraced us throughout the journey.

May the Lord Jesus, through the Word and Sacrament we celebrate today, make us ever more faithful in the mission for the glory of God and salvation of souls.