Happy Father’s Day (weekend). There was a book published a few years ago, called “Our Father: Reflections on the Lord’s Prayer by Pope Francis”. And the book contains a conversation between Holy Father Francis and an Italian priest and prison chaplain named Father Marco Pozza.
And in this conversation, Pope Francis offers his insight into the words that our Blessed Lord taught us to pray. What it means to call upon God the Father, and so on. But, he also reflected upon the importance of our earthly fathers. And I think it significant that Pope Francis has this conversation with a prison chaplain. Because so many of the imprisoned—in Italy, in the united states, and around the world, are men and women, who more than often have very broken relationships with their earthly fathers.
Statistics are abundantly clear: when a child is raised without a father there is a greater risk of behavioral problems; they are more likely to commit a crime and go to prison. They are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, more likely to suffer obesity, more likely to drop out of school, and to experience poverty. Teen girls without fathers are 7x more likely to get pregnant as a teen.
On the other hand fathers involved in their children’s lives improve their children’s overall emotional and social well-being, those kids do better in school, they are less likely to carry guns and deal drugs. Good fathers reduce the parenting stress of the mothers. Fathers help their children to be honest, ethical, hardworking adults.
The impact on religious life is also striking. Data shows if a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only 1 child in 50 will become a regular church goer. But, if a father does go regularly, regardless of what the mother does, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend church as adults.
Raising a family in today’s culture us tremendously challenging. So in the course of his conversation with that prison chaplain, Pope Francis offered five pieces of wisdom, which I will now share.
“The first thing needed is this,” Pope Francis said, “that the father be present in the family; that he be close to his wife, to share everything, joys and sorrows, hardships and hopes. A father needs to be close to the children as they grow up; when they are playing and when they are working on a task; when they are carefree and when they are troubled.”
Presence. Closeness. Earthly fatherhood is to be a reflection of the Heavenly Father, and scripture speaks over and over of God’s closeness to his people. Deuteronomy asks, “what great nation is there that has gods so close to it as the LORD, our God, is to us whenever we call upon him?” Psalm 16 says, “Because God is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” And Psalm 145 says, “The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.” Hebrews says, God will NEVER leave us or forsake us. So, earthly fathers must be involved, be near, and be present in all of those family activities and tasks. After a long grueling day at work, it is difficult to be “emotionally present” to one’s family. But’s it vital.
Secondly, Pope Francis explains that God the Father gives earthly fathers an example to follow in patience. God loves us even when we are sinners, Paul says in the second reading today. And so Fathers have to be patient,” he explained. Love is patient. Children really can test one’s patience. But as Scripture says “God is slow to anger…so Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger dwells in the heart of fools.” Learn to count to 10 and inwardly ask, “Is what I’m about to do or say going to help my kid or hurt my kid emotionally?”
And many times, the Pope admits, “there is nothing that can be done, like the father in the story of the Prodigal son, but wait in patience, kindness, generosity, and mercy, and pray.”
Now, patience doesn’t mean you aren’t to discipline your children. And that’s the third word of wisdom, Pope Francis says discipline, but don’t humiliate. Scriptures says, “do not fail to correct your children…a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother” Children who are not disciplined often grow up rebellious, have no respect for authority, and as a result find it difficult to willingly obey and follow God. God Himself uses discipline to correct us and lead us down the right path and to encourage repentance for our wrong actions. Hebrews says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it”
Fourthly, Pope Francis explains that Father’s need to be a source of comfort in their children’s failures. “Children need to find a father who is waiting for them when they return from their failures. These children will do all they can in order not to admit their mistakes, not to let their embarrassment show, but they need this security. Not finding their father at the door opens wounds inside them that are difficult to heal.” Let your children know that they can come to you in their failures: business failures, relationship failures, moral failures. That you will help them overcome their challenges and to learn wisdom from their failures.
Finally, the Pope reminds earthly Fathers to have constant recourse to the heavenly Father in prayer and the practice of religion. “Without the grace that comes from the Father who is in Heaven,” the Pope says, “fathers lose courage and abandon the field.” Fathers please speak to your children about the importance of Faith. Tell them why you go to Church. Why you receive Holy Communion. How Catholicism is indispensable.
Fathers, when the grace of God is evident in your life, that touches the hearts of your children like nothing else in this life. Your witness, your faith is indispensable, irreplaceable. The Pope says, “The Church, our mother, is committed to supporting the good and generous presence of fathers in families. Fathers: you are in our prayers, for your vocation is vital.
In the Gospel, we heard how “at the sight of the crowds, Jesus’ heart was moved with pity for them because they were troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd.” So many in the world today are troubled and abandoned--fatherless. Perhaps, some of you have wounds of abandonment--physical or emotional. And the Lord looks upon all the abandoned and offers the healing of his sacred heart, and calls all the abandoned to mercy.
But the Lord sends us out as laborers, just like he did the apostles, to the troubled and abandoned of the world: to bring God’s love, God’s healing, God’s grace, the message of the Gospel, to be baptized, to have faith in Christ, to receive his body and blood. May we be generous and faithful in this holy calling of ours, for the glory of God and salvation of souls.
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