7th Week of Ordinary Time 2024 - Friday - God is the author of marriage

One of the joys of my priesthood is to meet with engaged couples for marriage preparation. It’s always interesting to see where they are on their faith journeys. Some of them are devout and go to mass every week, or more. And some haven’t really been to mass since their confirmation. Some couples begin marriage preparation with little or no awareness of God’s presence with them, and have very little understanding of Church teaching.

No matter where they are on their faith journey, in marriage preparation, we start at the beginning. We read from the scriptures, we look at church teaching regarding marriage. One of the concepts that focus on is that God is the author of marriage. Marriage is not a man made institution that we are free to tamper with, alter or change. 

The Vatican II document on the Church in the Modern World emphasizes this point when it says, “The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws.... God himself is the author of marriage.”

So part of marriage preparation is coming to an understanding, appreciation, and desire for not just what the world says marriage is, but that beautiful institution which God has designed. 

Church teaching on marriage is rich and beautiful, and of course, founded upon the Word of God. 

In the Gospel today, the Lord Jesus himself addresses marriage, and puts to an end, once and for all the debate about the possibility of divorce. There are lawful impediments to marriage: siblings cannot marry, parents cannot marry their children, a person cannot be forced to marry another, there must be consent. 

But a man and a woman, truly joined in the bond of holy matrimony, cannot be separated, because God has joined them. 

The indissolubility of legitimate marriage is disregarded by much of society. Many choose to enter into adulterous relationships to the detriment of their spouses, their children, and their souls.

The Catechism comments on today’s reading thusly: it says, the Lord Jesus’ “unequivocal insistence on the indissolubility of the marriage bond may have left some perplexed and could seem to be a demand impossible to realize. However, Jesus has not placed on spouses a burden impossible to bear, or too heavy—heavier than the Law of Moses. By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God. It is by following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses will be able to “receive” the original meaning of marriage and live it with the help of Christ. This grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ’s cross, the source of all Christian life.”

Let us pray for all engaged and married couples, that they may live faithfully to the Lord’s teaching regarding the Sacrament of Marriage, that marriage may continue to make the Church fruitful, that it may be a source of blessing for their families and for the world for the glory of God and the salvation of souls.

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That Christians may respond generously to the perpetual call to prayer, fasting, and works of charity. 

For our young people beginning summer vacation, that they may be kept safe from the errors of our culture and kept in close friendship with Jesus through prayer and acts of mercy.

For all married couples, that they may be faithful to the Gospel in every dimension of their married life and give all an example of God’s ever-faithful love.  

That during this month of May, all people may turn their hearts to the Blessed Virgin Mary, seeking her aid and imploring her intercession with increased and fervent devotion, imitating her example of Faith, Hope, and Love.

For all the needs of the sick and the suffering, the homebound, those in nursing homes and hospitals, the underemployed and unemployed, immigrants and refugees, victims of natural disaster, war, and terrorism, for all those who grieve the loss of a loved one, and those who will die today, for their comfort, and the consolation of their families.

For all who have died, and for all the poor souls in purgatory, and for X. for whom this Mass is offered.

Incline your merciful ear to our prayers, we ask, O Lord, and listen in kindness to the supplications of those who call on you. Through Christ our Lord

27th Sunday in OT 2018 - Marriage & Divorce and the good of children

In the school and PSR this week, I visited the fifth through eighth grades, inviting our young people to consider becoming altar servers. We talked about how serving at the altar is one of the opportunities for service that God gives to young Catholics; serving at the altar is truly a service to God, to the parish, for a reverent celebration of Holy Mass.

I remember a few years ago at a previous assignment, a young man approached me and confessed that he would like to be an altar server, but his father would not allow it because his father did not want to bring him to church. This is a Catholic child, in a catholic school, saddened and confused because his family refused to go to Church. We have young people in this parish who carry a similar sadness.


Catholic spouses, on the day of their wedding, exchange vows to each other, but they also make promises to God about their future children. The priest explicitly asks the bride and groom: do you promise to raise your children according to the law of Christ and His Church. That promise is repeated several times in the ritual for baptism: In bringing your children to be baptized, you are accepting the responsibility of training them in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring them up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

The role of parents is paramount. Parents who take their role seriously raise their children to love Jesus to know and follow His commands. St Paul even talks about this responsibility in his letter  to the Ephesians: “Fathers… bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

I bring up this topic of the role of parents in light of our scripture readings this weekend. In the first reading, we hear of the origin of marriage—how God, responding to Adam’s desire for a wife, creates Eve to be lifelong companion and mother. The passage uses poetic language to describe a spiritual reality. “The two become one” Genesis says. The future of two individual souls become intertwined for a unified purpose: the salvation of their souls and the procreation of children.

This passage is so important that it is one of very few times that Jesus, in his ministry, quotes word-for-word a passage from the Old Testament; I think it’s the longest passage he quotes in all of the Gospels.

In a lawful, sacramental marriage, the Lord teaches, the two have become one—they are a new creation, they are joined together by God and cannot be separated by any human power.  What God has joined man cannot separate.

And then, immediately after this teaching about marriage, St. Mark tells us that parents were bringing their children to be blessed by the Lord. These are very good parents who recognize Jesus’ authentic teaching. At this point in the Gospel, Jesus’ disciples do not understand how good this is, for when they tell the parents to go away—that Jesus has more important things to do—Jesus rebukes his disciples: never, ever, do anything, to keep a child from knowing, and loving, and being blessed by the Lord Jesus.

The psychological and spiritual good of children is one reason why God has forbidden divorce. Our Catechism says that divorce is a “grave offense” that causes “grave harm” and leaves children traumatized.

The book, “Primal Loss” contains heartbreaking descriptions of the trauma of divorce upon children. One adult child of divorce wrote: “I was devastated as a child when my dad drove away, and I will never forget standing in our front yard literally screaming: “Come back!” I didn’t understand what was happening, and my three-year-old sister certainly didn’t understand. I remember my maternal grandma grabbing me, telling me he loved other women and to stop screaming…I “survived” the divorce, but the fallout wasn’t pretty: lots of acting out and “unsettled” behavior”. It really skewed the way I looked at guys and what I thought “love” was. If marriage wasn’t forever, why should anything else be?”

The “foreverness” of marriage, the indissolubility of it, is for the good of the spouses and the good of children. This is something we cover very seriously with engaged couples preparing for Christian marriage, to work on healthy communication and healthy faith lives, not only for their good, but the good of their children.

Divorce lawyers and our throw-away culture incentivize divorce, and have virtually normalized it. This makes Catholic teaching counter-cultural. But trust not in popular opinion but in the Lord, and commit to doing everything we can to promote happy, healthy, holy marriage. For as marriage goes, there goes the culture. If healthy, Christian marriage is promoted in a culture, the culture will endure, the future will have hope. The fate of the world, in a sense, is bound to our faithfulness to these very passages today.

If your marriage is going through a rocky time, don’t give up. Marriage is resilient. The Church is here to help you develop the skills you need to endure the rockiness. Often enduring rockiness entails developing healthier communication and conflict resolution skills, and for couples to learn to pray for and with one another.

If you, like me, are a child of divorce, renew your trust in the Lord, go to Him for healing, pray for the ability to forgive your fallible parents, and to learn from their mistakes.

If you are a divorced Catholic, I urge you, don’t give up on the faith. Turn to the Lord for healing. There is a support group for divorced Catholics in our district.

If you are a widow or widower: thank God for the good times, and don’t be afraid to share your wisdom with the younger generations.

If you are divorced and remarried outside the Church…well, that’s a whole other topic. Best to review the Church’s teaching on this matter, and plan on setting up a meeting with your parish clergy to discuss it.

And if you are a Christian married couple: pray daily for faithfulness to those marriage vows: to love, honor, and serve your spouse, to be examples of faith for your children, a signs of the Lord’s ever-faithful love to your fellow Christians and to the world

May each of us, celibate, married, or single, commit to setting good example for the younger generation to whom we pass the faith, that they may never be hindered by our poor example from coming to the Lord, loving him, finding the meaning of their lives in Him for the glory of God and salvation of souls.